Ego

I work for an organization that has made remarkable progress in the past decades and has, in many ways, changed the way India, and the world, banks. You can have great experiences in this organization. One of the company’s innovations is a quarterly video news magazine, through which the top management of the company communicates with the approx. 40k employees, among other updates. One such magazine covered our ex-chairman's address at one of the bank’s events. The point of this article is to capture my understanding, of the beauty with which he articulated the essence of EGO and its effect on our lives.

“Ego (or arrogance as expressed or vanity as observed) can be because of three reasons”, he said. “It can be because of wealth, beauty or knowledge”

Vanity, by nature, will blind one’s vision; alienate one from the world and thus one’s own life. Friends will become fewer and far apart; one would be surrounded by selfish people, who would eventually disappear at the time of redemption. Once disillusioned of the make-believe world one has been living in, the egoistic person experiences shock in understanding the futility of such pursuit. At this time, depending on how far one has gone from friends, one gets help to recover and get grounded. The magnitude of the shock and the distance from true friends are generally directly proportional to the length of time one has been egoistic. Longer the time spent in vanity, larger the shock and farther true friends would have gone.

The ego that arises due to beauty is probably the shortest lived. It will wither in comparison, or in time. In a fundamentally firm mind, the ego will also wither; the person shall age gracefully and go back to one's true friends. In a weak mind, the ego will grow into frustration and seclude the person. So there is a 50:50 chance of recovery from the drudgery of the ego effect, in this case.

The ego, that is due to wealth, will wither with one downturn in the finances. Even in this case, one has a 50:50 chance of recovery. The strong minded shall get well grounded, fight back and comeback only stronger and humbler. A weak mind would again force one into seclusion and bitterness.

The ego that arises from knowledge is the most dangerous. This does not give any chance for the person to recover. Knowledge, with age shall only grow. As knowledge grows, the ego will get reinforced. When the creative mind sees results to its ideas and efforts, and one is able to encash these ideas, it is but natural to start believing that one is invincible. With this, one’s vanity will increase till one becomes completely blind of the real world. This goes on for a long time. Normally one is already 60 or above by the time one is shocked out of this vanity. The shock is huge, due to the length of time one has been hibernating in such vanity. By this time all friends are gone, and the few left behind are not strong enough to help one recover. Trust me, this is one of the worst times in human life to face the fact of the futility of one’s pursuit in life, as most of the useful life is over. There might have been very few people who might have recovered from such a shock. It is not uncommon to see intellectuals secluding themselves from the world at older age. This is generally mistaken for superiority complex. It is actually true that these people exhibit superiority complex. The truth is also that superiority complex is actually a guise to hide inferiority complex, self doubt or self pity.

“So my dear friends, be wary of the ego that you all may get associated with, in this profession. Humility is reality. If you are capable of doing or knowing something, remember, a million others are capable of doing the same with different degrees of expertise. So nobody in this world is worthy of such ego”

After listening to this, I was shocked. “Oh, one has to be good looking or wealthy or knowledgeable to be egoistic is it?” I asked myself.

Gandhi, the Jihadi

I was working for a company in Dubai and had the opportunity to bring some delegates from there to Ahmedabad for a factory visit. The delegation had Lebanese, Palestinian and Japanese nationals. The visit was to obtain approval for supply from a factory in India. The delegation was skeptical about the quality that would come from there – there are still many people who think we make poor quality stuff. What happened to the original purpose of the visit is not very interesting.

During lunch we all were sitting around a table and chatting away. The Japanese asked if there are any places to see around Ahmedabad. The factory representative started telling about the historical importance of the city and moved on to say that Gujarat is the birth place of Mahatma Gandhi. He told that Porbandar, the birth place of the statesman was about 400kms away. The Palestinian, who was till then detached from the discussion, suddenly got interested.

“Is it possible for me to travel there today?” he asked.

“It is quite far sir. Considering that you have a flight to catch tomorrow morning at Mumbai, it is not possible to drive there today and comeback.”

“How about flights”

“I can try Sir.”

“Can you please let me know?”

The factory representative went out of the hall to check. I continued the discussion.

“Sabarmati Ashram is an ashram which Gandhiji instituted and is in Ahmedabad, in the banks of Sabarmati River.”

“Oh. How long does it take to go there?”

“Half hour, maybe.”

“Can we leave right away?”

“Yes of-course.”

Immediately set out to go to the ashram. On the way, I continued the discussion. “Do you know about Gandhiji?”

“Ofcourse” he said. “I have read about him during my college days in UK. He is a great man. While in college I used to think that all these were stories. Nobody could have been like this. But as I grew older I understood that this is how a sensible person can live.” Just as we reached Sabarmati Ashram he said, “You know, only his way can solve the Israel – Palestinian problem.”

I was shocked. Being curious about Gandhiji is one thing. But thinking that his method can solve the Israel – Palestine problem is altogether another thing – a shift from the typecast Islamic thinking. We got down from the car and another shock was awaiting me. The moment he stepped down, he kneeled down and kissed the ground. With sparkle in his eyes he asked, “Really, Gandhiji walked here? Alhamdulillah”

I was awestruck to see this Palestinian of 45, go around clicking pictures of himself in the ashram, with enthusiasm of a child. His enthusiasm rubbed on me too. After we saw all places, we started back to the factory.

“So, you do not believe in Jihad?” I asked

“Ofcourse I do. Gandhi was a Jihadi, wasn’t he?”

Now I knew that all his bolts were not in place. I understood that his enthusiasm for Gandhiji was misplaced. He must have mixed up Jinnah with Mahatma.

“What, so you think, is Jihad?” he asked.

“Holy war against the evil; that is, the non-believers.” I told. How much more concise can you be about this?

He laughed. “Holy war against the evil is ok… but who are non-believers?”

“Those who do not follow Islam.”

Ha ha ha ha.

“Dear friend, the word ‘Islam’ itself means ‘peace’. Then why would Islam propagate war.”

Now I was totally confused. So are all of media wrong. They all seem to propagate that Islam is an aggressive religion which condemns all people of all other faiths.

“So, what does Jihad mean?”, I asked.

“Jihad, my friend is a fight between the good and the evil… the good and evil feelings that arise within you. In this fight you should always side with the good. For example, if you find a packet containing money in the road, two thoughts would arise… one would say ‘keep it’ and the other would say ‘find the owner and hand it over’. In this conflict of thoughts you should side with the good one. That is what Jihad all about. It is not about declaring someone else as evil and killing him. So, now you tell me if Gandhi was a Jihadi or not.”

Who was right?

It was a serene evening. My mom was chatting up with my son and was naratting the Krishna - Sudama story to him, a version used in some places. She told him how Krishna
and Sudama were friends in Sandipani's Gurukul, that Krishna loved poha and how
Sudama stole a handful of poha from Krishna's plate while He was looking
away. She continued to narrate the story as to how Krishna went on to
become a king and Sudama a poor brahmin, unable to feed his 27 children.

Mom narrated, "So Sudama's wife suggested that he approach Krishna asking for help.
'How can I ask for help from my friend' asked Sudama. Sudama's wife
told, 'okay, do not ask him for help, just visit him and come back.'

'Okay', said Sudama. Sudama's wife packed some poha for Him and Sudama
set out to Krishna's palace. Once he reached the palace of Sri Krishna,
the dwarapaalaka (guard at the gate), did not allow Sudama inside. However Krishna saw
Sudama and came running to give a big-hug to his old friend. He took him
in and made him feel comfortable. Sudama stayed for a few days and told
Krishna that he wanted to go back to his home. So Krishna gave him
permission to leave.

But before Sudama left. Krishna noticed that he had a bag which he was
trying to hide. 'What is in that bag?', He asked. Sudama was embarrassed
to show the humble gift he had brought to give his friend. However, the
moment Krishna saw that it was poha, He took one handful of poha and had
it. When he reached out for the second, Rukmini stopped him
saying, 'one handful is enough'.

A disappointed Sudama left for home. And when he reached home, surprise
was awaiting him. In the place where his humble stood, there was a
palace. In the place of 27 poor, malnourished, wailing children, he
found healthy children playing away merrily. He found his wife wearing
expensive clothes in place of her usual tattered clothes. So actually
what happened was, God had held back all the riches which Sudama was
supposed to get, as he stole His poha. So when Krishna got back the one
handful of poha, which Sudama stole in his childhood, all the riches
which he was deprived of, have been given back to him.

So the moral of the story is that we should not take other's belongings.
If we do, then we will not get what we should rightfully get."

My son pondered for a while, and said, "Krishna is a bad boy".

My mom was shocked. She asked, "Why?"

"See. Sudama is Krishna's friend and is from a poor family. He would like
to taste a little more of poha which he will not get at his home. Anyway
Krishna is a rich person and can get how much ever poha he wants. So as
a good friend he should have shared his poha with Sudama. Even if Sudama
took it from Krishna's plate, how will taking from a friend's plate
be stealing? So, it is Krishna who is wrong. We should not punish friends. We should help them."

Greed

I met a social equality activist, in a train journey. He is a retired Tamil professor who is fighting the caste system through awareness speeches and he is a follower of EVR Periyar. These details are of not much importance for the point I’m coming to.

He is among people who go around convincing the discriminators not to discriminate against people on the basis of caste. He organizes demonstrations and activities that include barging into temples by the outcast. I asked him, “Why do you have to convince these people to accept the people of "weaker" castes and be so aggressive about it. Why don’t the victims of discrimination just ignore the perpetrators and live a life exclusive of them – the method that has been used by Sri Narayanaguru in Kerala”.

“Well, verify the success of this method. Even Gandhiji fought the same evil by convincing people to give up caste discrimination through his method of ahimsa. But what is the point. Even today caste system is prevalent in most parts of the country, including Kerala.” He said.

“But unlike here, countries like America have successfully reined in the vices of discrimination”

“Let’s not discuss America.” He said with a sarcastic smile.

“I want to know the reason for that”.

“Let’s discuss the root cause of social inequality first. What do you think is the basic reason of social discrimination?”

“The long lasting caste system is one, rich poor divide, infrastructure etc..”

“These are all symptoms… the reason is very basic… the instinct for human beings to be greedy. Greed is the basic reason”, he said. “Initially each man yearns for stability and wants to be in control of his own life. For this he finds a means of sustenance in the form of employment – self or otherwise. Once this is accomplished he wants to ensure that his family’s life is secured. This makes him to work harder, earn and save for his lifetime. After he is confident that he can achieve this target, he sets out to protect his earnings by firewalling it. Slowly greed sets in. He garners as much money as possible and once a threshold has been crossed, no one questions the means – not that they do not want to, but because they can’t afford to. This makes it suitable for him to use all means to get money. Now, corruption sets in” he paused as if to let me take in what he said.

“With the stability he has achieved so far, he commands a particular status in the society. Now he wants this status to be available to all his protégés. So he institutionalizes the status, and makes an arrangement that shall ensure that everyone else accepts his formula for peaceful co-existence, with his family as the leader. This is how inequality sets in.”

“I can relate the whole thing to India. Why did you smile at the mention of America? There so much corruption is not prevalent.”

“Do you mean to say that no one is greedy in America?” he asked. “Nor corrupt?”

“Not like that… at least it is not so deep rooted as in India. Maybe Indians are greedier.”

“You should look at this from another point of view that ‘rules are for the dumbest’. Those who follow rules are not necessarily good people. It is mostly dumb guys who accept the supremacy of another person and will follow rules meticulously. You’d have heard many guys say, ‘I live by my own rules’. There is a ring to this statement. These are statements by rebels who are smart enough to believe in themselves.”

“But even the smart Indians who go there follow rules?” I said questioningly.

“The reason for that is the formula which I told earlier. It is not that they accept all that happens there, they just can’t afford to fight back. So they feign ignorance.”

“I do not accept this. Ok. So, if all these are problems, what is the solution? And how are you sure that with your method of fighting against the social evil you would be victorious?”

“Who said anything about winning in my lifetime? Man has not come up with any method so far to win over greed.”

“So, why waste time fighting?”

“The effort is to keep the conscience aware of the vice. I am fighting to at least keep the guys who discriminate subtly aware that they are wrong. I am fighting hoping that some day some one will find a method to win over man’s greed. I am fighting with a hope that some day people would see sense in living together equally. I am fighting to keep this flame going.”

Why not: What is the point?

Why not: What is the point?: "It started as a chat with a doctor who had returned recently from the USA after acquiring super specialization to settle in India. He was ..."

Why not: Rendezvous with Drona

Why not: Rendezvous with Drona: "I met Drona yesterday. Yes, the Dronacharya. I went red with anger. I asked him why he was such a racist and sadist. “Why did you ask for Ek..."

Rendezvous with Drona

I met Drona yesterday. Yes, the Dronacharya. I went red with anger. I asked him why he was such a racist and sadist. “Why did you ask for Ekalavya’s thumb?”

“What was wrong with that?” he asked.

“What’s wrong with that? You are asking ‘what’s wrong with that? Oh my Gawd. How can you be so senseless… and feelingless… and… and’’ I gasped for words.

“Wait a minute. Please tell me what happened before getting mad at me.”

“Well, you saw that guy… Ekalayva was an awesome archer… and to save Arjuna’s reputation as the greatest Archer in the world… you tampered with his finger and screwed his career”

“What makes you think so?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Why should I be obvious?”

I was angered more. “So? You have a justification for this?”

“Are you interrogating me? I’m not testifying to a confused guy like you. I know what I did.” And he started to move on.

I mellowed down. Now, I realized that I am standing in front of one of the greatest teachers in the world’s lifetime. I said sorry and begged him to let me into the rationale of why he did that?

“Well. I could have asked for his head, isn’t it?”

“Yes”

“Or as a good guru to Arjuna, could have patented his talent and enslaved him. This way I could have helped Arjuna hone his skills by practicing with Ekalavya, without any threat. I could have used him to raise the bar on Arjuna? Isn’t that logical and better for me?”

“Why did you not do that?”

“Well another question you should have asked is what happened to Ekalavya after all this?”

I blinked.

“Look if he had continued with his career as an archer…. He would have achieved veergathi. But I thought that if this kid had it in him to learn and perfect the art of archery just by observing and visualizing, he definitely can go to greater heights. Do you know that he went on to become Ekalavya Maharishi?”

“Now you are fibbing. I do not know of any Ekalavya Maharishi.” I said.

“How many maharishis do you know? And the hallmark of a true maharishi is anonymity. World has not yet matured enough to recognize real greatness. The world loves to someone like itself…. Mediocre. So it promotes the mediocre guy and revels in thinking that someone like me can make it big in life”

“And my question to you guys is… why you guys attach so much importance to popularity? What’s so great about being the most dangerous weapon in the world? Why should I be obvious to you?”

“Boss. Enough. It’s a lot of gyan for one day”. I said and moved on.